HAPPY HOLIDAYS

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM FTANG!

Peter Criss Turns 63

FTANG! Birthday wishes to The Catman, original KISS drummer Peter Criss, who is one step closer to receiving Social Security from the KISS Army. He turns 63 today.

YES WE DID!

"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer."
- - President Elect Barack Obama

FTANG! is more than pleased to congratulate President Elect Barack Obama on his historical campaign victory last night. FTANG! also extends its heart-felt thanks to Senator John McCain for his service to this great nation. No one can (or should ever have to) experience what he went through, and we cannot ever really thank him. FTANG! is hopeful that he will return to the Senate and assist in ushering in the change everyone voted for.

President Elect Obama... to your family and darling daughters... all the best possible wishes for this upcoming holiday season. FTANG! knows that one wish has already come true.

Yes we can... and YES WE DID!!!

Remembering Rodney Dangerfield

Ftang! remembers Comedy Legend Rodney Dangerfield who passed away on this date back in 2004. MISS YA' RODNEY!

MORE SHARK ATTACK IRONY - LIFE IMITATING ART

MELBOURNE, Australia (Reuters) -- An Australian woman has died after she was attacked by a shark while swimming with friends at an island near the city of Brisbane in Queensland state, police said Saturday.

The 21-year-old woman from Brisbane was at Amity Point, on North Stradbroke Island when she was attacked, losing both arms up to the elbow and also suffering a flesh wound to the leg.

"She was taken to Princess Alexandra Hospital but has died as a result of her injuries," a Queensland Police spokeswoman told Reuters. She said no further details were available.

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PORKER FOLLOW-UP

SYDNEY, Australia (AP) -- Up to three sharks may have been involved in the fatal attack on a 21-year-old woman off an island in eastern Australia, police said Sunday.

The woman, whose identity was not immediately released, died late Saturday after being attacked near North Stradbroke Island, east of the Queensland state capital Brisbane.

Queensland state police inspector Peter Harding said officers were searching for the sharks and had closed several nearby beaches.

"If we found them, I suppose we would try to retrieve them and see if they have any body parts," Harding said. "The idea is to retrieve what we can."

The woman was swimming with friends from a church group in shallow water about 50 feet offshore when the shark attacked, local media reports stated. The woman's dog also was in the water.

The woman was airlifted to a Brisbane hospital where she had to have both arms amputated just below the elbow, according to Queensland Rescue Helicopter spokeswoman Helen Anderson. She also suffered deep wounds to her legs and torso, Anderson said.

Harding said the severity of the woman's injuries indicated she may have been attacked by a group of bull sharks, a species known for aggressive behavior this time of year.

"She was bleeding quite heavily," Harding said, adding that she heard "there was more than one shark involved. There could have been up to three."

ONCE AGAIN - YOUR FREAKISHLY IRONIC MOVIE QUOTE FEATURING A SHARK ATTACK AND A PLACE CALLED AMITY...

"I'm pleased and happy to repeat the news that we have in fact, caught and killed a large predator that supposedly injured some bathers. But as you see it's a beautiful day, the beaches are open and people are having a wonderful time. Amity as you know means friendship. "

Gene Simmons Turns 59

(Marginal) FTANG! Birthday wishes to The Demon, The God of Thunder, and Endless KISS Merchandise Pitchman.

FTANG! openly hates that you've turned the group into a 'brand', but at least it can take pleasure that knowing that no future money will ever again go from Ftang!'s wallet into yours.

Paul's already said that we fans don't want any new music from you guys (yeah right), so now that breath FTANG! has been holding can finally be exhaled.

Curse you, Simmons! I completely blame you.

Remembering Eric Carr

Ftang! remembers the late KISS drummer, Eric 'The Fox' Carr, who would've been 58 today. Click the video below to see home footage of Eric a few days after open heart surgery.

ATTACK KITTEN AD

Source: Craigslist

Ferocious attack kitten is available for adoption to any home willing to accept him.

This destructive kitty has been trained as a proud warrior and will fiercely defend your house, even against you.

Well-trained since 10-weeks of age to attack anything in his presence, he will protect your family from evil things, including the following:

* insects
* other trained attack kittens
* babies
* toilet paper
* anything under a blanket
* unwanted house guests
* paper bags
* floor rugs
* Chuck Norris
* feet

Great with children (assuming you don’t like the children). Probably best used for professional catfighting.

He is housebroken, but only because he wants to be.

This attack cat has trained himself to seek out his food anywhere you hide it and rip the bag open to feed himself, great for those who travel extensively. Also trained to drink water out of toilet bowls and dishwater from items in the sink.

Knows how to open some doors. He will find you wherever you hide.

Neutered (trust me, you wont want to him to procreate). Has not been declawed, but you'll figure that out really fast.

Understands and responds to a variety of vulgar and profane verbal commands. Has a very soft and furry belly, like a teddy bear - however he will bite your face if you try to touch it.

Willing to accept trades. Potential adopters must have experience with trained attack-kittens; please be prepared to show scars.

Remembering Bruddah IZ

As FTANG! turns 43 today, FTANG! remembers Bruddah IZ who passed away on this date in 1997.

Celebrity Death - George Carlin - June 22, 2008

George Carlin - June 22, 2008

The world today is a little less funny and far more serious than it needs to be.

FTANG! favorite George Carlin has died of heart failure. He was 71.

What can FTANG! say that numerous other sites and people haven't already said about this ground-breaking and genuinely funny individual? He was a classic. A true classic. Your humor will be sorely missed. Thank you for all the laughs, George.