GrandMa's Got A Brand New Bag... Of Grenades!

Police officers, secretaries and criminals were evacuated from a Russian police station after a granny walked in with a handbag filled with hand grenades.

Irene Fedorova, 67, walked into the station in the Orenburg Region in the Urals and said she wanted to take advantage of an arms amnesty.

She said she wanted to get rid of some old weapons that her late husband Boris had kept under their bed.

Officers who opened the bag found it contained several hand grenades including two that had faulty pins and could have gone off at any moment.
She said: "I read they were disposing of old weapons and thought it was a good idea. I bought them in on the bus in my handbag. I was sorry to have caused such a fuss - perhaps next time they should offer a collection service."

A spokesman said: "These were fragmentation grenades which explode into hundreds of fragments and inflict serious injuries to people up to 50 feet away. Anyone within ten feet will be killed if they go off."

FTANG! returns with GRANNY PANTIES!!!

A family home was saved from burning down when a pair of giant knickers were used to put out a fire.

Jenny Marsey's size 18-20 cotton pants were grabbed to cover a frying pan fire at her home in Hartlepool, England.

Her son and nephew were trying to fry some bread when the blaze broke out, reports the BBC.

They grabbed the panties from a pile of washing, doused them in water, and threw them over the fire. Mrs. Marsey, 53, said: "My cheap parachute panties have come in handy for something. We've had a good laugh that they were a bit like a fire blanket."'

Her son John and his cousin Darren, 23, were cooking, when they went to answer a knock at the door, only to return to a blazing kitchen.

Mrs. Marsey said: "When they found the pan on fire they did what most people do and panicked.

"But they found a pair of my panties in a washing basket and basically used them as a fire blanket to put out the fire."

Mrs. Marsey, also mother to Sarah, 23, Joanne, 24, and Donna, 27, added: "I think if they had been my daughter Sarah's skimpy panties they wouldn't have done any good.

"I'm taking it all in my stride and it's quite a funny start to the New Year."

INDEED IT IS! WELCOME BACK TO FTANG!