WTF - Isn't This A Sign of the Impending Apocalypse???

Isn't it one of the signs of the Apocalypse when a demon of the Bush Administration finds itself in the company of... well... THE DEMON?!?

SOURCE: Yahoo News/The Associate Press

STOCKHOLM, Sweden - The Kiss Army has an enthusiastic new recruit: Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.

Rice was in the Swedish capital Thursday for an international conference on Iraq. Kiss had a sold-out concert to play Friday.

"I was thrilled," Rice said of her late-night encounter with Kiss frontman Gene Simmons and bandmates Paul Stanley, Eric Singer and Tommy Thayer in the executive lounge of the Sheraton Hotel where they signed autographs and handed out backstage passes and T-shirts to her staff.

"It was really fun to meet Kiss and Gene Simmons," she told reporters, noting that they seemed well-informed about current events. The band had asked if she could stop by after she finished dinner with the Swedish foreign minister and Rice readily agreed, she said.

Rice, a classically trained pianist, said she has eclectic musical tastes ranging from Beethoven to Bruce Springsteen.

Hard rockers such as Kiss are included in the mix, and Rice said her favorite Kiss tune is "Rock and Roll All Nite."

But, Rice conceded, she has never seen the band in concert.

Editorial note: While FTANG! hopes Gene wasn't in his "total jag mode"... it's certainly not holding its breath.

WTF?! Mmmmm. Beer.

Australian police pulled over a driver and were shocked to find he had secured a load of beer with a seat belt - but NOT a five-year-old boy.

Officers were appalled to find the man was more concerned about his 30 cans of brewskis than the child travelling with him. While the alcohol was safely buckled in, the boy was sitting on the floor in the back, unrestrained.

Police stopped the man after noticing that his car was unregistered.

"I haven't ever seen something like this before," said Constable Wayne Burnett, who stopped the driver on a desert highway south of Alice Springs.

He said police often stopped vehicles to look for beer, wine and spirits being illegally smuggled into 'dry' Aboriginal communities, where alcohol is banned.

"But this is the first time that the beer has taken priority over a child."

He said the driver of the car "just looked at me blankly" when he was handed a $700 fine for driving an unregistered and uninsured vehicle, and for failing to ensure the child was wearing a seatbelt.

"He didn't get it," Constable Burnett said. "I asked him about the fact the child was unrestrained and the beer was, and he said he didn't know anything about it."

WTF?! BRING ME THE HEAD OF FOZZY BEAR!

WTF?! So, FTANG! would like to know why in the world it has received over a DOZEN hits this week from around the world (!!!) from people looking for an image of the Muppet Fozzy Bear?!? What's the deal? WTF is up with that? This is equally as disturbing as the people who stumble across this site thinking they're going to find photos of granny panties. (You guys are in a club all to yourselves!)

So seriously Muppet People... what gives? Would anyone care to share in the comments section what the deal is? Curious minds would love to know. Google Fozzy Bear and you'll find thousands of images.

Here! Here's your shot of that third rate Muppet Fozzy. Happy now? (FYI - it's the first image I grabbed off of Google. Why don't you do the same?)

That Must've Been One Hell of a Great Magazine!

Special thanks to Ftang! field correspondents Patrick and Kim for their contributions to this story.

A 35-year-old Wichita woman who apparently spent two years in her boyfriend's bathroom in Ness City had become stuck to the toilet seat, authorities said Wednesday.

"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body. It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself," Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said in a telephone interview, adding that it appeared her body fat had grown attached to the seat.

The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that "there was something wrong with his girlfriend," Whipple said, adding he never explained why it took him two years to call.

He said the boyfriend had brought the woman food and water during the two years and told investigators he asked her daily to come out of the bathroom.

"And her reply would be, 'Maybe tomorrow,'" Whipple said. "According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."

Police found the clothed woman sitting on the toilet, her sweat pants down to her mid-thigh as if she was using the toilet. Her legs looked like they had atrophied, he said.

"She was sitting on the toilet and was somewhat disoriented," Whipple said. "She said that she didn't need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave."

She refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out. She was taken to a hospital in Wichita, about 150 miles southeast of Ness City, where she is listed in fair condition. Whipple said she has refused to cooperate with medical providers or law enforcement investigators.

"We pried the toilet seat off with a prybar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."

!?! WTF - February 7, 2008 !?!

A Hungarian lawyer is facing court action after he bit a female colleague's breast at a civic dinner.

Laszlo Papp, 32, head lawyer for the Mayor's Office in Gyor, reportedly told attractive Imola Kovac, 26: "I don't fancy my chicken breast - I think I'll try yours instead."

The mayor described his lawyer's actions as a joke but Kovac did not see the funny side and has now launched legal action against him for sexual assault.

She said: "I am taking legal action because I do not think biting a colleague's breasts is appropriate behavior for a civil servant." (See, now this is why Ftang! has also been a failed civil servant... why isn't this written down somewhere?!?)

Paul Stanley Turns 56

Paul Stanley - January 20th

FTANG! Birthday Wishes to Paul Stanley who turns 56 today! Hey Paul, how about you and Gene finally start speaking to one another again and give the fans one more studio record? That'd be cool.

UPDATE - April 2008: From an interview with Paul himself. FTANG! can forget about a new album apparently.

Q: Are there more KISS tours or a new album on the horizon?
A: We just did some massive shows in Australia and New Zealand, and in three weeks we’re heading to Europe. So, KISS is alive and ready to blind you, deafen you and pummel you into submission (laughs). A new album? We’re asked about it, but we know fans don’t really want new material. I could write the next “Let It Be” and people would say, “That’s great. Play ‘Love Gun.’” And we’re happy to do that.

WTF, PAUL? Seriously, WTF?